Dear Abby and Chopstick,
My sister-in-law berates my brother at family functions. It makes everyone uncomfortable. I want my brother to stop being a wimp and grow some balls or at least go to couples counseling. Or stop attending family functions altogether. How do I tell him? -Too Stressed
Abby: It's already hard enough to change ourselves, it is nearly impossible to change someone else. If the room stinks, don't fart more. The next time your sis-in-law poops on your bro, politely tell them in a calm, sweet voice, that it's making people uncomfortable and to please work it out in private. If this fails, have everyone else leave the room.
Chopstick: If your wife turns you into a ball-less wonder, it's time to re-inflate them and do the alley cat strut.
SLOPPY JOE WON'T CLEAN
My partner leaves his dirty dishes and filthy socks all over our apartment. I am tired of telling him to clean up his mess, and I am tired of cleaning it myself. - Not The Maid
Abby: Don't curse the dark, turn on the light. Hire a cleaning person yourself, when he's not home. Or do what I do; chew his socks until he can't wear them anymore.
Chopstick: Dump your boyfriend like he's month old litter.