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Dear Abby and Chopstick: Stress free life tips from a dog and cat

5/22/2013

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LIFE-SAPPING WIFE

Dear Abby and Chopstick,
My sister-in-law berates my brother at family functions. It makes everyone uncomfortable. I want my brother to stop being a wimp and grow some balls or at least go to couples counseling. Or stop attending family functions altogether. How do I tell him? -Too Stressed

Dear Too,
Abby: It's already hard enough to change ourselves, it is nearly impossible to change someone else. If the room stinks, don't fart more. The next time your sis-in-law poops on your bro, politely tell them in a calm, sweet voice, that it's making people uncomfortable and to please work it out in private. If this fails, have everyone else leave the room.

Chopstick: If your wife turns you into a ball-less wonder, it's time to re-inflate them and do the alley cat strut.

SLOPPY JOE
WON'T CLEAN

Dear A&C,

My partner leaves his dirty dishes and filthy socks all over our apartment. I am tired of telling him to clean up his mess, and I am tired of cleaning it myself. - Not The Maid

Dear Not,
Abby: Don't curse the dark, turn on the light. Hire a cleaning person yourself, when he's not home. Or do what I do; chew his socks until he can't wear them anymore.

Chopstick: Dump your boyfriend like he's month old litter.

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    Abby and Chopstick are life-long buddies. Abby is patient, Chopstick is not. (The opinions of Abby and Chopstick are theirs alone and may not wind up being in your best interests. The management takes no responsibility).

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    Common sense life advice from a dog (Abby) and a cat (Chopstick). We love your submissions (well, Abby does...)

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