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Dear Abby and Chopstick: Common Sense Advice from a Dog and a Cat

5/15/2013

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SUCKY BOSS, SUCKS THE LIFE OUT

Dear Abby and Chopstick,
My boss sucks. He is mean and yells and screams like he's terrible two's, but he's over 40. How can I bring some sanity to my workplace? - Disgruntled Employee

Abby: Your boss sounds like a rogue pit bill who needs more nap time. Their insanity is not your insanity. His tantrums are about him, not you. If he doesn't like the job you're doing, he can talk to you like a normal person. He is probably just angry, hungry, lonely or tired. Pet his tummy and sincerely compliment him once in a while.

Chopstick: Your dog sounds like a real hairball. Cough him out and polish your resume.


MOTHER HAS NO BOUNDARIES

Dear Abby and Chopstick
My mom constantly barges into my apartment, and my life, unannounced to give me unsolicited advice on how I am doing everything wrong with my life. It's making me nuts. How do I handle her? -Wish I Was Adopted

Abby: Once a mother, always a mother. Accept that she has your best interests at heart, even if they're way-off-base, completely backward and horribly distorted. When she starts in, thank her for her concern and advice, and politely, but firmly tell her you've got it from here.

Chopstick: Your mom has too much free time on her paws. Escape out the window and don't leave a forwarding address.

GOT SOMEONE YOU'D LIKE TO THROTTLE BUT SHOULDN'T? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS TO ABBY AND CHOPSTICK: STRESSFREE@PEEANDWALK.COM



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    Abby and Chopstick are life-long buddies. Abby is patient, Chopstick is not. (The opinions of Abby and Chopstick are theirs alone and may not wind up being in your best interests. The management takes no responsibility).

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    Common sense life advice from a dog (Abby) and a cat (Chopstick). We love your submissions (well, Abby does...)

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