Dear Abby and Chopstick,
My dad favors my oldest brother. It's so obvious. When he got a divorce, my father bought him a Mercedes. Should I tell my dad his favoritism is way too obvious? - Short Shrifted Younger Brother
Abby: Comparing and despairing doesn't get you anywhere. Count your blessings that you are not getting divorced. Let him have his car, you have your peace of mind.
Chopstick: Ask your brother if you can borrow his car and then poo in the driver's seat. End of problem.
Dearest Abby and Chopstick,
My sister and I inherited a summer home together from our parents. But now my sister acts like she owns the place. We agreed to make much need improvements to the bathrooms. But she didn't make any decisions on how to fix it, didn't want to pay for it and then complained about the result. I'm ready to pull my hair out, or hers. -Ready for a Vacation
Abby: Have a good hair day everyday. It sounds like she is still acting out some childhood slight you may or may not have caused her and she is still seeking her pound of flesh. But she is really no match for you. Ignore her tirades, she really just wants to draw you into an old fight she is still having in her head. Take a long bath in your new bathroom and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. If not for you, the toilets might be flushing backwards right now.
Chopstick: What your sister needs is what my german grandmother used to do in these situations, “zwei schmatzen und raus.” Give her two smacks and tell her to get out. These can be interpreted metaphorically.